Self-talk is the conversation we have with ourselves all day long.  Unfortunately, too often, these messages are quite negative.  The messages may include irrational beliefs and distorted thinking about ourselves.  They may also include a running commentary about our personal failures or inadequacies.

     Sometimes these negative messages are subtle.  But other times, the negative self-talk is quite blatant.  If you catch yourself often thinking negative messages like "I'm so fat",  "How could I be that stupid."  "I'll never be able to pass that test", you are suffering from negative self-talk which can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

     The good thing to remember is that our moods and how we feel about ourselves are not determined by actual situations but by how we think.  We get upset and depressed not because of the bad situation but because of how we think about it.  If you are upset about gaining five pounds and you begin to beat yourself up about your weight with negative self-talk, it is not the number on the scale but your own thoughts which are making you feel anxious or depressed.

    But the good news is that negative self-talk is a bad habit.  And, like other bad habits, it can be changed.  It takes a desire to make the change and a consciousness about your self-talk, but you can learn to recognize the old patterns and choose to change the way you think.  I compare the process to changing the channel of your mind.

     When you become aware through living more consciously about your negative self-talk, you will learn to recognize the old pattern.  Then take a moment to stop and identify the negative pattern and then change the channel of your mind.  I compare this to changing the channel on a television.  Begin to give yourself positive, self-affirming messages.  "I'm making better choices in my eating.", "I am studying with great focus for my class."  "I am capable."  Whatever the negative messages were, change then to positive, confidence-building positive messages.

   Like any other skill, changing negative self-talk into positive self-talk takes practice. Hypnotherapy can help you in recognizing and shifting old patterns to new  and change your entire way of thinking.  With positive self-talk, you will feel better, have a more positive outlook and build positive self esteem.  Try positive self-talk and BE WELL.


      If you are feeling lonely, know you are not alone.  Everyone feels lonely occasionally even in the middle of the crowd.  And loneliness can happen at any age.  Young adults are at risk when they leave school and their parents' home and move into their own home for the first time.  Retirees may feel particularly lonely when they no longer have a daily routine and lose workplace relationships.  Married people may feel lonely during rough patches in a relationship.

    Unfortunately, loneliness can spiral downward into the three D's of defensiveness, desperation and depression.  These, in turn, can push people away and cause even more loneliness.

     Defensiveness actually separates lonely people from others.  If you are feeling lonely, take the time to look at your own behavior.  Look at what could be limiting your ability to establish relationships.  Sometimes some tweaking of your social skills is all that is needed to feel less lonely.  Do you go places to meet people?  When was the last time you accepted an invitation or attended a social function?  Do you join in conversations already taking place?  Release the defensiveness and see how you can reach out to others. Taking a class or joining a volunteer group can be a great way to meet new people and do something positive for yourself and others.

    Desperation occurs when people feel that lack of social connections.  But often the best cure for loneliness is not meeting new people, it is deepening the relationships you already have.  Reach out to the people you already know.  Reconnect.  Go through your address book or emails and reconnect. Find old high school, college friends or co-workers. Then make a real effort to stay reconnected.

    Depression can happen when loneliness becomes overwhelming and the person simply gives up.  They begin to believe that it's impossible to be anything but lonely and become very pessimistic.  They step into the "why bother" mode - why bother to try to make a new friend, why bother to reach out to someone,  why bother to attend a social event.  Of course, you will likely not meet your soul mate or your future best friend at every event.  But, if you are lonely, step out of the loneliness box of your home and into the world of possibility.

    If you need help to release the defensiveness, desperation and depression that can be triggered by loneliness, a clinical hypnotherapist using brief therapy can help you to step out into a better and happier future.  Hypnotherapy can help you BE WELL.


     Many of my clients are surprised to learn that hypnotherapy can be a great tool for issues besides quitting smoking, losing weight and reducing stress.  I recently received a thank-you note from a client who had come to me feeling depressed and unmotivated after she lost her job when the executive she worked for left the company.  She just wanted to get on with her life.  This is the note I received, "Hi, Dr. Johnson    You are amazing!  when my phone rang during my session yesterday, it was from a company asking me if I was interested in interviewing for an Executive Assistant position next week:)  when I got home, I started cooking up a storm - pasta with meat sauce and spice cake with frosting.  This morning I got up at 6:15 and went for a two mile walk with my husband then I went to the office and packed my office and my executive's office.  I feel good today.  THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!"

     Congratulations to her and all the people who have used hypnotherapy to improve their lives.  Personal issues such as motivation, anxiety and depression can also be addressed with hypnosis.  


     In 2012, Richard Robins, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and his research team reported on a study of 3,617 adults conducted over 16 years identifying when self-esteem began to decline.  The study was based on how participants responded to statements such as "I take a positive attitude toward myself".

      The researchers reported that self-esteem generally began to decline around the age of sixty.  This was believed to be a time when factors such as poor health, retirement, reduced income and disabilities became more prevalent.  The loss of self-esteem is important since people who are less satisfied with life and less confident in their daily life tend to be more susceptible to depression.

      To maintain self-esteem make life choices to stay socially connected by spending time and maintaining regular contact with family and friends, volunteering in your community, being active in social groups.  In addition, take care of yourself physically by eating healthfully and exercising regularly.  If you need motivation to make those good choices to maintain your self-esteem, hypnotherapy can give you a head start in enjoying those years after sixty.